As they turned around
the corner they saw a dog. It was black
and white. Then it started speaking to them and it said “may I have a bone or a
dog biscuit please”. As they heard that
their mouths dropped open. Then the dog said “please can I have one I can’t
wait all day I’m starving?” So one of
them went off to the butchers shop to get a bone. He brought back a bone and a dog biscuit as
well. Then he dropped it in front of the
dog. Suddenly he ate it in one gulp.
They laughed and the
Dog smiled too.
By Blake
Hi Blake, I was asked to post this comment because Irene does not have any of the options in your drop down menu for comments. Please add 'Name' so that anyone can leave a comment.
ReplyDeleteThanks
Mrs Skinner (Team 100)
Hello Blake,
Your whimsical story is captivating! The dog's dialogue is so entertaining, and does an effective job of making the events move smoothly from one to another. I smiled throughout reading it, and laughed out loud at the end. It takes a very talented writer to create a humorous story.
A small suggestion would be to review how to format, capitalize, and punctuate quotations. This will guide your readers to access the voice of the dog.
Thank you for publishing!
Irene
Irene McGinty (100WC) Watsonville, California 95076 U.S.