I walked slowly into the big dusty arena, to do battle with my most annoying arch rival, Mr Potato Head. I started to run towards Mr Potato Head. “AAAHHHH” I yelled, and was about to strike with my new iron sword, but the ferocious wind picked my feet up off the ground and took me into a huge green square portal………....
When I woke up, I was being carried by a big green creature. I realised it was The Incredible Hulk, or was it? It had more hair, lots more hair - surely it couldn’t be ……………………...The Hairy Hulk!!!!
By Brodie :)
ha very funny but be careful read this back I realised it was The. the does not need a big letter in this case but overall i liked this story. by sarah (in your class)
ReplyDeleteGreat story and I wonder what he hairy hulk looked like...
ReplyDeleteRiley
great story i like how it kinda funny next time try and add more description
ReplyDeletefrom erana
hi brodie nice story and nice punctuation but next time use more discriptive language
ReplyDeleteby ben Mercer room11 broadgreen intermediate school
I loved your story it was great how you changed real characters to fit your story.
ReplyDeleteRuby
I like your story next time use more fullstops.
ReplyDeleteDear Brodie,
ReplyDeleteThis was not at all the kind of story I was expecting....but I loved it!! Great use of description in your opening, and some really good use of punctuation. Just make sure that you always punctuate before you close your speech marks (e.g. "AAAHHHH!!") to be really accurate.
Keep up the great writing!
All the best,
Miss Dodd
Team 100WC
(Banbury - UK)
Its good because you scared me !!!
ReplyDeleteI like how you described the incredible hulk.
ReplyDeleteBy Kulbir