Thursday, May 21, 2015

Jordan - rage of the winds

As the ferocious wind smashed Nelson with its mighty rage. Trees falling cars tipping and seas were smashing against the rocks along the beach. As people were trying to walk they got pushed about like a rag doll the cars tried so hard to keep the wheels on the ground. As the trees were up rooted it created much havoc for the people on the roads and for people who needed power and electricity. As the rain poured down with the ferocious wind it calmed down in a week or two and the people of Nelson had to pick up the pieces they realised it was over.


By Jordan

5 comments:

  1. Jordan, your storm description of what happened at Nelson is very realistic. Including a simile and personification add extra creativeness to your story. Double check the opening line for a complete thought and look for places to add commas. Great work this week!

    Mrs. Peterson (Team 100wc)
    Texas, USA

    ReplyDelete
  2. awesome i like the despriptive writing
    from jet

    ReplyDelete
  3. Make sure that your story has no spelling mistakes, but apart from that, keep it up!!
    - Kaitlyn

    ReplyDelete
  4. Nice Jordan! It's almost a summary of what Nelson has been like in the last couple of days! Next time re-read the story to make sure it makes sense!

    ~Zena~

    ReplyDelete
  5. great description... nothing to change is how awesome it is

    by fynn

    ReplyDelete