Monday, May 18, 2015

Maddison - Fashion show gone wrong.

As Lucy sat waiting her turn to go up onto the stage she felt nervous.  Her purple hair was put into a big beautiful bun on top of her head, her amazing white dress had a diamond belt and the dress style was a no straps beautiful long dress.  Nicole (lucy's best friend) just came back from being on stage “wow the trees are beautiful out there and i think they chose the best place to have a fashion show” it's lucy's turn she goes out she's doing very well but the ferocious wind blows hard and lucy's dress goes flying.  

By Maddison

5 comments:

  1. I love your story it is very funny, next time try and add more commas.
    From Ruby

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  2. oh no! whats going to happen next time add in more grammer

    from fynn

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  3. I don't think I can post comments on this site, so this is a test

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can so I will. Great post , thank you. A clever idea, is it your worst nightmare? You have some good dialogue and I like the way you have described the scene and the characters. A couple of small points. 'I' should be a capital, and names start with capitals. Well done for posting. Best wishes form Bromley, Greater London UK.

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  5. Haha lol, i love how Lucy's dress goes flying, but maybe put more commas in your story, keep it up.
    From Alyssa.M

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